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  • Writer's pictureSum Yuet Lee

๐Ÿ’” Is Cheating Okay Sometimes???

Yeah... the title's throwing me off too. Speaking as someone who's watched a little too much Grey's Anatomy and Below Deck, I'm always outraged at the lack of reaction from the loyal parties when the cheater gives some type of nonsense spiel that somehow ALWAYS leads back to it never being their fault. Then again, there was that lady who cut off her husband's genitalia so... maybe not a lack thereof.

Image Credit: The Guardian

There's also the 'emotional cheating is okay, at least it's better than physical cheating because nothing technically happened' angle. I've had people rationalise to me that just because they didn't physically touch each other, it wasn't cheating. Uh... what? Let's debunk what exactly emotional cheating is, and why, in my eyes, it is NOT okay.

What Is Emotional Cheating?

Emotional cheating is a breach of trust that occurs when one partner develops a deep, intimate connection with someone other than their significant other. This connection often involves sharing personal thoughts, feelings, and experiences that are typically reserved for a romantic partner. The emotional cheater invests their time, energy, and emotions in this new relationship, drawing attention away from their committed partner and causing emotional distance.

Why I Disagree that Emotional Cheating is 'Okay'

"Why are you overreacting so much? XXX's just a friend who I care about! You don't want me to have friends, is it?" Defensiveness upon being questioned is the number 1 tool of the emotional cheater. Check out what we have to say about gaslighting in our article here.

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So, why exactly is emotional cheating bad?

  1. Breach of Trust: Trust is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. Emotional cheating undermines this trust and creates doubts about the commitment and loyalty of the partner involved. The emotional cheater may damage the very foundation on which their relationship was built.

  2. Emotional Disconnection: Emotional cheating leads to emotional disconnection within the primary relationship. As the emotional cheater invests time and energy in the other person, their emotional availability for their partner diminishes, causing feelings of neglect and loneliness.

  3. Impact on Communication: Open and honest communication is vital in relationships. Emotional cheating can hinder effective communication as the emotional cheater may feel guilty or fearful of discussing their interactions with the other person, leading to a breakdown in communication.

  4. Erosion of Intimacy: Intimacy requires vulnerability and emotional closeness with one's partner. When emotional cheating occurs, the emotional bond between partners weakens, leading to a loss of intimacy and emotional fulfilment.

  5. Psychological Impact: Being emotionally cheated on can cause severe psychological distress, leading to anxiety, depression, and damaged self-esteem for the betrayed partner.

  6. Escalation to Physical Cheating: Emotional cheating can be a slippery slope. When emotional boundaries are crossed, it may lead to a greater temptation to engage in physical infidelity, further jeopardizing the relationship.

Final Notes

To maintain a strong and healthy relationship, open communication, honesty, and emotional fidelity are paramount. Emotional cheating is never an acceptable way to address issues within a partnership. Instead, consider addressing concerns openly and honestly with your partner to build a solid foundation of trust and understanding. Remember, you deserve to love and be equally as loved in your relationships, and the most important thing is to prioritize fidelity, trust, and respect.


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